Angry On The Inside - ADHD Women Talking Late Diagnosis

December hits ADHD women differently and no one talks about it. One minute you’re thriving on holiday dopamine and twinkle lights, and the next you’re in the bathroom with a six-pack of Reese’s trees wondering why your nervous system has abandoned you for the holidays.
In this episode, Jess and Jeannine break down the real ADHD holiday arc: overstimulation, disappearing routines, perfectionism pressure, emotional labor, family triggers, and the “why am I suddenly seven years old?” regression that shows up every year.
We also talk about DESR, unapologetically, hitting emotional capacity, and how to build a December that actually fits your brain without shame, without perfection, and without the meltdown hangover.
If you’ve ever cried in the Target parking lot during the holidays, you’re in the right place.
00:00 – The ADHD Holiday High
The early-December dopamine surge, over-decorating, organizing, and the festive identity ADHD women know too well.
00:47 – The Holiday Crash No One Talks About
Two days before Christmas: bathroom Reese’s trees, sugar crashes, and the emotional flip that hits out of nowhere.
01:27 – Who We Are: Late-Diagnosed, Overwhelmed, Still Here
Jess & Jeannine introduce the episode: emotional whiplash, Target-parking-lot tears, and the ADHD reality of holiday season.
02:43 – Why December Breaks ADHD Brains
Overstimulation, emotional overload, disappearing routines, and why December hits different for ADHD women.
05:19 – Family Triggers & Old Roles Rebooting
Why holiday gatherings send ADHD women straight back into childhood dynamics, old labels, and old wounds.
07:08 – Perfectionism, Emotional Labor & the Mental Load
The invisible work behind “perfect holidays,” unrealistic expectations, and why ADHD women hit emotional capacity fast.
09:29 – What Actually Helps ADHD Women in December
Regulation basics, lowering standards, cutting the list in half, redefining traditions, and building a holiday that fits your capacity.
20:13 – “That’s Not Normal”: ADHD Holiday Edition
Wrapping-paper crises, 2 a.m. cleaning, Clydesdale commercials, Reese’s trees in the bathroom — and why your holiday chaos is valid.
23:35 – Closing: Take What Fits, Leave the Rest
A grounding reminder: nothing about your December makes you weak, and you're not the only one feeling angry on the inside.

Gratitude season hits different when you have ADHD. While the world is shouting “just be thankful,” most of us are stuck juggling overwhelm, rumination, perfectionism, emotional intensity, and a brain that cannot seem to slow down long enough to notice the good stuff.
In this episode, Jess and Jeannine get honest about what gratitude actually looks like for ADHD women not the Pinterest version, not the toxic-positivity version, and definitely not the guilt-tripped version.
From Jess’s real-life run-in with an aggressively cheerful quote at her oncologist’s office, to Jeannine’s abandoned gratitude journal, to the science behind dopamine, serotonin, rumination, micro-gratitude moments, and why joy feels so huge (and so rare) when it finally breaks through this is gratitude told through the lens of real neurodivergent life.
Inside this episode:
Why gratitude for ADHD brains is awareness, not performance
The difference between gratitude and toxic positivity
How comparison, ableism, and internalized shame sneak into “thankfulness”
What the science says about gratitude, dopamine, serotonin, and ADHD emotional regulation
Joy as a form of gratitude (hello, “wee moments”)
Why perfectionism, RSD, and negative self-talk shut gratitude down
How neuroplasticity supports changing emotional patterns at any age
Micro-gratitude vs. forced routines and why tiny wins actually work
Why ADHD women feel undeserving of good things (and how to shift that)
The emotional power of handwritten letters and intentional connection
Jess and Jeannine keep it real, keep it funny, and keep it grounded in lived ADHD experience. No pressure, no journals required, no guilt if you haven’t felt thankful today. Gratitude isn’t a task it’s a moment. And you deserve to let the good stuff count.
If this episode hit home, share it with someone who gets it.We’re building a space where neurodivergent women can feel seen, validated, and a little less alone.
00:00 – When Gratitude Season Meets ADHD Reality
Holiday pressure, “just be grateful,” and why it doesn’t land for ADHD brains.
01:27 – Toxic Positivity in a Serious Space
Jess’s oncologist-office moment & why forced positivity feels invalidating.
02:21 – Ableism, Comparison, and Misunderstood Gratitude
What gratitude is not — and how comparison hijacks it.
04:33 – The Science: Dopamine, Serotonin & the ‘Wee Moment’
ADHD joy, emotional intensity, and why gratitude hits differently.
07:09 – Perfectionism, Shame Cycles & Feeling Undeserving
How negative self-talk blocks gratitude and keeps ADHD women small.
10:16 – Neuroplasticity & Rewiring Gratitude Patterns
ADHD brains can change — even later in life.
12:06 – Gratitude Letters, RSD & Communicating Love
Why writing feels safer, deeper, and emotionally clearer for ADHD folks.
14:22 – The Shirt Spiral: Perfectionism on Full Display
A relatable, classic Jess story about overwhelm, appearance, and RSD.
17:06 – Gratitude in Chaos: ADHD, Rumination & Emotional Overload
Why pausing is hard, and how ADHD blocks access to positive moments.
26:29 – Micro-Gratitude: Tiny Wins That Actually Work
Realistic, ADHD-friendly gratitude without guilt, pressure, or perfection.
29:12 – A Moment of Gratitude Between Jess & Jeannine

Many ADHD women move through Thanksgiving with a mix of joy, pressure, sensory overload, and invisible labor that most people never see. This episode offers a grounded, honest look at how the holiday actually feels for neurodivergent women without shame, without judgment, and without telling you how you’re “supposed” to handle it.
Jess and Jeannine explore the very real contrast between the parts of the holiday that feel comforting and the parts that drain us. From early-Christmas dopamine and all-day cooking marathons to childhood split-holidays and overstimulation before noon, they walk through the full spectrum of ADHD holiday experiences with warmth, humor, and compassion.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
The playful chaos of getting into holiday mode early
Why cooking energizes some ADHD women and overwhelms others
How invisible labor shapes the emotional weight of Thanksgiving
Delegating tasks in a way that feels supportive rather than stressful
Building a “Minimum Viable Thanksgiving” that actually fits your nervous system
Setting boundaries that keep the day peaceful, not perfect
Why small or unconventional Thanksgivings count just as much as the traditional ones
How to stay present enough to be part of the memories—not just the labor behind them
This episode is for anyone who wants permission to make Thanksgiving simpler, calmer, and more reflective of how their brain actually works. You’re not alone in the way you experience this season, and you deserve a holiday that gives back more than it takes.
00:00 – Cold Open: Mariah in November & ADHD Holiday Vibes00:39 – Invisible Labor & Why Thanksgiving Feels Like a Logistics Operation01:08 – Show Intro: Two ADHD Women, One Holiday Season02:31 – Split-Screen Thanksgiving: Cooking Dopamine vs. Holiday Whiplash05:23 – Delegating, Letting People Help, and Letting Go of Perfect07:47 – Minimum Viable Thanksgiving: Presence, Not Perfection11:55 – Boundaries Without Being a Holiday Grinch14:15 – Alternative Thanksgivings Count Too16:00 – Closing: Peace, Pie & Permission to Rest

Ever gone from fine to furious in half a second?That flash of rage it's chemistry before it become emotion. In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explain how cortisol, the stress hormone, acts like fuel for the fire when ADHD brains are already running hot.
They dive into:
Why cortisol floods ADHD systems faster and sticks around longer
The addictive hit of control you feel mid-rage
What happens during the crash and why shame keeps you stuck
How to interrupt the cortisol loop and step back into calm
This isn’t about managing anger it’s about understanding what your body is actually doing when it thinks it’s in danger.
No shame. No “shoulds.” Just truth, clarity, and compassion.
🎧 Angry on the Inside is where two late diagnosed ADHD women, Jess and Jeannine, talk honestly about the intersection of brain chemistry, identity, and burnout. It’s real talk for women who’ve been told they’re too much, when really they were just running on empty.
00:00 – Fine to Furious in Seconds The ADHD Rage ExperienceCold open that hooks listeners instantly with a relatable ADHD rage moment.
00:21 – Welcome to Angry on the Inside Real Talk for ADHD WomenShow intro and disclaimer; Jess and Jeannine set the tone for honest, grounded conversation.
00:57 – What ADHD Rage Really Is (and Why It Isn’t Just Anger)Defining ADHD rage as chemistry, not character breaking down the real mechanics behind emotional flooding.
02:23 – Cortisol Explained Your Body’s Stress Alarm SystemUnderstanding what cortisol does, how it spikes, and why ADHD brains stay on alert longer.
03:59 – Why Cortisol Feels Like Fuel for the FireHow cortisol creates that temporary sense of control and why it’s really feeding the flames.
04:40 – Chemistry First, Reaction Second Reframing ADHD RageAOI’s core reframe: emotional outbursts aren’t moral failures; they’re chemical chain reactions.
05:21 – When Triggers Stack Electronics, Traffic, and Tiny ExplosionsEveryday stories that reveal how sensory overload and stress stack until rage feels inevitable.
09:44 – The Crash and Shame Cycle After ADHD RageExploring the emotional hangover the exhaustion, guilt, and shame that follow a cortisol spike.
13:07 – Regulation and Recovery Finding Your Exit RampHow to pause, breathe, and come down gently after emotional flooding without judgment.
15:54 – You’re Not Broken Just Wired DifferentlyFinal reflections and grounding reminder that ADHD rage is human, not hopeless.

Jess & Jeannine explore the ADHD tipping point.  The moment everything you’ve been holding together finally slips, and what it really means to rebuild without shame, burnout, or masks.
When ADHD women hit the tipping point, it’s not failure, it’s the truth finally catching up.
In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine unpack why coping systems collapse, what “going over the edge” really means, and how to steady yourself when the scaffolding falls away.
From masking fatigue and burnout to the relief and grief of diagnosis, this is the real conversation about ADHD overwhelm that most people don't get to hear.
You’ll hear how life transitions, new jobs, parenthood, perimenopause, or pandemic chaos push many ADHD women to their limit, and how to recognize when that moment is coming again.
✨ What You’ll Hear:
Why ADHD women hit tipping points (and how to see them sooner)
How “structure” and “control” are often different things
The link between burnout, hormones, and executive dysfunction
Relief, grief, and what comes after diagnosis
Why your next tipping point is a checkpoint, not a collapse
Ways to communicate, prepare, and rebuild community support
00:00 – All the Plates Drop00:30 – When Everything Finally Slips01:08 – Parenthood, Promotion & Pandemic Chaos02:26 – Masking, Overdoing, and the Slow Burn to Shutdown05:54 – Structure Isn’t Control- It’s Capacity10:40 – Scaffolding, Survival & Losing Your Map14:01 – Relief & Grief: The Emotional Aftershock of Diagnosis17:17 – The Cycles Keep Coming and That’s Okay19:26 – Checkpoint, Not Failure22:00 – Prepare, Communicate & Rebuild22:59 – Outro | You’re Not Broken
 

It’s Halloween, the dopamine’s high, and the masks are off, literally and figuratively for ADHD women.In this bonus “After Dark” episode, Jess and Jeannine get unmasked about ADHD, dopamine, chaos, and why Halloween feels like home for neurodivergent brains.
From glow-stick jokes and dirty puns to executive dysfunction and dopamine hits, this episode celebrates the freedom, laughter, and chaos that come when the masks finally drop. It’s explicit, ridiculous, and weirdly validating exactly how AOI does Halloween.
If you’re a late-diagnosed ADHD woman who’s ever loved the ritual, the chaos, or the permission to be someone else for a night, this one’s for you.
    In this episode
Why ADHD women love Halloween (and what dopamine has to do with it)
Masking, unmasking, and the joy of pretending
Chaos, costumes, and permission to be loud
The AOI kind of “After Dark” unfiltered, funny, and a little filthy
⚠️ Explicit Content Notice
This bonus episode is NSFW in the best way. Headphones recommended candy optional.
00:00 – The Neurodivergent Super BowlWhy ADHD women love Halloween chaos, creativity, and permission to be “too much.”
01:01 – Hot Glue Guns and False StartsJess and Jeannine stumble through intros and burn jokes literally.
01:20 – Masking Meets CostumeHow pretending becomes power when ADHD women turn masking into play.
02:23 – Legalized DopamineCandy, chaos, and serotonin Halloween as an executive-function win.
03:40 – Glow Sticks and Dirty JokesFrom glow-stick daydreams to “After Dark” laughter unfiltered ADHD joy.
04:23 – The Only Holiday That Doesn’t Demand HappyWhy Halloween feels safe, nostalgic, and sensory-friendly for neurodivergent brains.
06:10 – Belonging in the WeirdFreedom, rebellion, and self-recognition the night our brains and the world align.
 

For many women with ADHD, burnout doesn’t start with chaos it starts quietly. The slow burn builds in the background as we push harder, over-function, and hold everything together until it all gives way.
In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine unpack the hidden signs of the slow burn, the exhaustion you dismiss, the scaffolding you build to stay afloat, and the moment you realize willpower isn’t enough anymore.
Through humor, honesty, and lived experience, they name what ADHD women often don’t recognize: the creeping overwhelm that comes before collapse. If you’ve ever wondered why “holding it together” feels harder every year, this one’s for you.
Topics include: ADHD burnout, late diagnosis, executive-function fatigue, masking, medical gaslighting, and finding self-compassion when the system breaks down.
You’re not alone in this and it’s not just you.
🎧 What ADHD Women Don’t Recognize: The Slow Burn Before Burnout
Chapters (Exact Transcript Timestamps)
00:00 – Juggling EverythingJeannine opens with the quiet chaos of balancing work, family, and the invisible load of ADHD life.
00:45 – Naming the Slow BurnJess defines the “slow burn” the exhaustion and cracks in the armor that appear long before burnout.
01:45 – Jeannine’s Story: Losing StructureJeannine shares how staying home upended her scaffolding and led to recognizing her ADHD.
04:03 – Jess’s Story: When the Structure FadesJess reflects on losing her anchors smoking, kids’ routines, motivation and seeing herself change.
07:18 – Dopamine and the Disappearing DriveThey unpack ADHD, menopause, and the loss of natural motivation that turns daily life into survival.
08:43 – Comparing ADHD StoriesA reminder that ADHD looks different for every woman comparison only fuels shame.
09:53 – When You “Should” Be Happy but Aren’tHow meeting life’s goals can still feel hollow when executive function collapses.
11:42 – The Burnout LoopJess and Jeannine discuss chasing unrealistic standards that drain the body and brain.
15:26 – Misdiagnosis and Medical GaslightingMany ADHD women are mislabeled with anxiety or depression before getting the right diagnosis.
19:12 – The Shame CycleHow “doing everything right” can still fail and the loneliness of feeling broken with no answers.
20:00 – Running Out of WillpowerJess explains how discipline and willpower eventually collapse under ADHD burnout.
22:03 – The Warning Before BurnoutJess’s reflection and Jeannine’s closing reminder: burnout isn’t failure it’s your system asking for help.
ADHD women, ADHD burnout, ADHD slow burn, executive dysfunction, masking, medical gaslighting, late-diagnosed ADHD, burnout recovery, neurodivergent exhaustion.

October isn’t quiet for anyone living with ADHD. In Part 2 of “October Is Loud,” Jess and Jeannine continue their deep dive through the month’s overlapping awareness causes. From domestic-violence and bullying prevention to dyslexia, LGBTQ+ visibility, disability employment, and cyber-safety. They connect every theme back to empathy, inclusion, and how visibility changes lives. Thoughtful, grounded, and real. This bonus episode closes the series with compassion and community.
00:00 – Intro & Content Warning00:24 – Domestic Violence Awareness & Resources01:35 – Bullying Prevention Month & Long-Term Impact03:11 – Healing and Boundaries for ADHD Adults03:36 – Learning Disabilities & Dyslexia Awareness04:14 – LGBTQ+ History & Intersex Awareness Day05:42 – Filipino American History Month & Representation06:17 – Disability Employment & Cyber Safety Awareness07:29 – Digital Safety Tips for ADHD Brains08:13 – Other October Awareness Causes08:42 – Final Reflection & Outro