S1 E28 Why ADHD Women Feel Survival Mode So Deeply: Fight–Flight–Freeze–Fawn

Why ADHD Women Feel Survival Mode So Deeply: Overwhelm, Reactivity, and the Fight–Flight–Freeze–Fawn Response

Why do so many women with ADHD feel like they’re always on edge even when nothing “big” is happening?

In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine unpack what it actually means to live in chronic survival mode. This isn’t about personality, attitude, or “being too sensitive.” It’s about how ADHD nervous systems process stress, emotion, and threat often faster, deeper, and longer than we realize.

They explore why everyday disruptions can feel catastrophic, why emotional flooding happens before you can think, and how many ADHD women spend years masking, people-pleasing, and holding it together… until the dam breaks. From breath-holding and overstimulation to tech meltdowns and social fawning, the conversation connects lived experience to what’s happening in the body.

You’ll hear a clear breakdown of the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, plus the lesser-talked-about patterns like shutdown (“flop”) and overcompensating (“please”). Jess and Jeannine also explain ADHD rage through a nervous system lens not as a character flaw, but as cortisol overload and emotional dysregulation. They talk about why this hits women especially hard, including masking, chronic stress, hormonal shifts, and the pressure to stay calm and accommodating.

Finally, they share body-based tools that can help interrupt survival mode in the moment simple regulation strategies that work with the nervous system instead of against it.

If you’ve ever wondered why you feel overwhelmed so quickly, why you can’t just “calm down,” or why you swing from holding it together to losing it this episode is for you.

You’re not dramatic.
You’re not broken.
Your nervous system is doing exactly what it learned to do.

And you’re not the only one who feels angry on the inside.

🎧 CHAPTERS 

00:00 — Living in Survival Mode Since Middle School
Jess and Jeannine open with humor and recognition: survival responses aren’t personality they’re nervous system patterns in ADHD.

01:22 — Emotional Flooding, Invalidation & Nervous System Threat
Why ADHD women are labeled “too sensitive” and how the body reacts to perceived threat before we can think.

03:24 — Triggers, Overstimulation & Why Small Things Feel Catastrophic
Breath-holding, visual triggers, tech meltdowns, and why disruption hits ADHD nervous systems harder.

04:57 — Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Explained
The core survival responses and what they actually look like in everyday ADHD life.

06:00 — Real-Life Survival Mode: Snapping, Doom scrolling & People-Pleasing
Cashiers, baseboards, paralysis, over-apologizing, and the added “flop” and “please” responses.

06:46 — Fawning, Boundaries, and Emotional Exhaustion
Walking on eggshells, avoiding conflict, and how chronic fawning erodes boundaries over time.

08:37 — ADHD Rage, Cortisol & Nervous System Overload in Women
Rage as physiology, not moral failure. Chronic stress, masking, hormones, and the “stress hum.”

12:05 — Getting Out of Survival Mode: Body-First Regulation Tools
Name it, go physical, cold/sour resets, vagus nerve support, plus therapy, coaching, and medication support.