Angry On The Inside - ADHD Women Talking Late Diagnosis

New Year’s Eve is supposed to be magical.New Year’s Day is supposed to feel like a fresh start.
But for many ADHD women especially those diagnosed later in life it often feels disappointing, exhausting, or quietly heavy instead.
In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine talk about why New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day can be so anticlimactic for ADHD brains. From the pressure to have the “best night ever” to the expectation that everything should feel different just because the calendar changed, New Year’s often becomes another place where shame, comparison, and unrealistic expectations creep in.
They explore the fantasy vs. reality of New Year’s Eve, the dopamine swings that make plans feel exciting one minute and unbearable the next, and why New Year’s Day can hit especially hard after the emotional and physical marathon of December. You’ll hear why exhaustion, disappointment, and self-blame aren’t personal failures they’re predictable responses when an ADHD brain is pushed to perform on a timeline that doesn’t fit.
The conversation also touches on late diagnosis, novelty, and the slow shift that happens when you stop working against your brain and start understanding it. From learning song lyrics to buying a Rubik’s Cube you never open, this episode uses humor and lived experience to unpack why “fresh start” culture doesn’t land the same way for ADHD women.
This isn’t about fixing yourself, setting better goals, or forcing a new version of you in January. It’s about permission to do New Year’s your way, to let go of the tropes that don’t work, and to remember that nothing is wrong with you because your brain didn’t magically change overnight.
If New Year’s has always felt harder than it’s supposed to you’re not alone.
🎙️ Angry on the Inside is hosted by two Certified ADHD Coaches sharing lived experience, insight, and honest conversation. This podcast is not therapy or coaching take what resonates and leave the rest.
00:00 – New Year’s Eve Expectations vs Reality (ADHD Women)Why New Year’s Eve creates pressure, comparison, and stress for ADHD women and how expectations quietly build weeks before the night even arrives.
02:20 – ADHD Energy Swings on New Year’s EveFrom party mode to total shutdown, Jess and Jeannine unpack ADHD energy swings on New Year’s Eve and why every version of showing up is valid.
05:40 – Why New Year’s Day Feels Anticlimactic with ADHDThe post-midnight crash: exhaustion, disappointment, and why New Year’s Day rarely feels like a fresh start for ADHD brains.
08:45 – “The Whole Damn Time”: ADHD Expectations & ShameThat realization moment when ADHD women see how pressure, self-blame, and unrealistic expectations have been running in the background all along.
09:40 – ADHD, New Year Goals, and the Novelty TrapWhy New Year goals feel exciting at first, how novelty fades for ADHD brains, and what small stories reveal about motivation and follow-through.
12:00 – New Year, Same Brain: ADHD Women Doing It Their WayLate diagnosis, self-compassion, and permission for ADHD women to stop forcing New Year’s traditions that don’t fit without shame.

The holidays come with expectations and for ADHD women, those expectations often collide hard with reality.
In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine talk honestly about why December feels so overwhelming for ADHD brains. From invisible “shoulds” and perfectionism to emotional overload and burnout, the holiday season becomes a pressure cooker for women who are already doing too much and trying to hold everything together.
They explore how perfectionism often shows up as a learned coping strategy, why kids and partners feel stress even when we think we’re hiding it, and how hypervigilance and all-or-nothing thinking can turn one imperfect moment into a “ruined” day. You’ll also hear why the holidays we remember most aren’t the perfect ones they’re the messy, human stories where things went wrong and everyone survived anyway.
This isn’t a checklist or a “just relax” conversation. It’s a grounded, validating discussion about setting realistic expectations, naming your limits, challenging the constant “shoulds,” and redefining what a good enough holiday actually looks like for an ADHD brain.
If the holiday season leaves you feeling overwhelmed, short-tempered, or quietly angry on the inside you’re not alone.
🎙️ Angry on the Inside is hosted by Jess and Jeannine, certified ADHD life coaches, sharing honest conversations for ADHD women navigating life, relationships, and late diagnosis.
00:00 – The Holiday Script in Your HeadWhy ADHD women enter December with a mental script and why reality never seems to follow it.
02:05 – Perfectionism, “Shoulds,” and Holiday PressureHow invisible expectations, perfectionism, and lifelong “shoulds” collide during the holidays for ADHD women.
04:55 – Kids, Partners, and Emotional Wi-FiWhy the stress we think we’re hiding is felt by everyone around us especially kids.
07:45 – Hypervigilance and All-or-Nothing Holiday ThinkingHow trying to control holiday chaos drains ADHD women and turns one imperfect moment into “the whole day is ruined.”
11:45 – Capacity vs. Expectations (What Actually Breaks Us)The mismatch between real capacity and holiday plans and why ADHD women often don’t realize the limit until after the crash.
15:25 – Good Enough Holidays & Letting Go of “Should”ADHD-friendly strategies for setting realistic expectations, communicating limits, and redefining what “good enough” really means.
19:30 – The Holidays We Remember Aren’t the Perfect OnesWhy the most meaningful holiday memories come from messy, human moments not perfectly executed plans.

The holidays hit different when you’re an ADHD woman trying to keep yourself regulated while your kids bounce between overstimulation, sugar crashes, and relative-induced chaos.In this episode, Jess and Jeannine break down real-world co-regulation strategies that actually work for ADHD moms and sensory-sensitive kids without shame, perfection pressure, or Pinterest-mom energy.
We talk about:🎄 Why co-regulation isn’t codependence (and how to tell the difference)🧠 Using curiosity instead of control when your kid melts down🙅‍♀️ Consent hellos, body autonomy, and navigating pushy relatives🔊 Sensory overload survival: sunglasses, Loops, headphones & coping candy👜 The ADHD “Santa Survival Kit” for car rides, stores, and family gatherings💬 Emotional honesty & why your kids can always read your stress💗 How to stay connected when everyone’s overstimulated (including you)
This episode is for every ADHD mom who’s trying to make the holidays feel safe, manageable, and actually enjoyable without sacrificing your sanity or your kids’ nervous systems.
If you’ve ever whispered “I need a timeout too,” this one’s your episode.
00:00 – Cold Open: Holiday Chaos Meets ADHD BrainsMariah Carey, meltdowns, pine-scented overstimulation, and why December hits different for ADHD women.
01:02 – Co-Regulation vs. Codependence (And Why It Matters Today)Understanding emotional regulation during the holidays — without absorbing everyone else’s stress.
03:10 – Curiosity Over Control: The ADHD-Friendly Parenting ResetDitching the pre-party “be on your best behavior” script and using curiosity to defuse meltdowns.
07:14 – Consent, Autonomy, and Holiday Boundaries for KidsHow to model body autonomy, support kids’ comfort, and handle pushy relatives without guilt.
12:32 – Sensory Overload: Prevent, Support, ProtectHoliday environments are sensory traps. Tools that work: sunglasses, scents, Loop earplugs, headphones, coping candy, and more.
17:30 – The Santa Survival Kit & Reset RitualsHow to create a car-ready regulation kit to prevent overstimulation and why modeling resets builds trust.
22:07 – Survival Mode, Emotional Honesty & Staying ConnectedHow kids read your stress, why transparency matters, and how to co-regulate through holiday overwhelm.

December hits ADHD women differently and no one talks about it. One minute you’re thriving on holiday dopamine and twinkle lights, and the next you’re in the bathroom with a six-pack of Reese’s trees wondering why your nervous system has abandoned you for the holidays.
In this episode, Jess and Jeannine break down the real ADHD holiday arc: overstimulation, disappearing routines, perfectionism pressure, emotional labor, family triggers, and the “why am I suddenly seven years old?” regression that shows up every year.
We also talk about DESR, unapologetically, hitting emotional capacity, and how to build a December that actually fits your brain without shame, without perfection, and without the meltdown hangover.
If you’ve ever cried in the Target parking lot during the holidays, you’re in the right place.
00:00 – The ADHD Holiday High
The early-December dopamine surge, over-decorating, organizing, and the festive identity ADHD women know too well.
00:47 – The Holiday Crash No One Talks About
Two days before Christmas: bathroom Reese’s trees, sugar crashes, and the emotional flip that hits out of nowhere.
01:27 – Who We Are: Late-Diagnosed, Overwhelmed, Still Here
Jess & Jeannine introduce the episode: emotional whiplash, Target-parking-lot tears, and the ADHD reality of holiday season.
02:43 – Why December Breaks ADHD Brains
Overstimulation, emotional overload, disappearing routines, and why December hits different for ADHD women.
05:19 – Family Triggers & Old Roles Rebooting
Why holiday gatherings send ADHD women straight back into childhood dynamics, old labels, and old wounds.
07:08 – Perfectionism, Emotional Labor & the Mental Load
The invisible work behind “perfect holidays,” unrealistic expectations, and why ADHD women hit emotional capacity fast.
09:29 – What Actually Helps ADHD Women in December
Regulation basics, lowering standards, cutting the list in half, redefining traditions, and building a holiday that fits your capacity.
20:13 – “That’s Not Normal”: ADHD Holiday Edition
Wrapping-paper crises, 2 a.m. cleaning, Clydesdale commercials, Reese’s trees in the bathroom — and why your holiday chaos is valid.
23:35 – Closing: Take What Fits, Leave the Rest
A grounding reminder: nothing about your December makes you weak, and you're not the only one feeling angry on the inside.

Gratitude season hits different when you have ADHD. While the world is shouting “just be thankful,” most of us are stuck juggling overwhelm, rumination, perfectionism, emotional intensity, and a brain that cannot seem to slow down long enough to notice the good stuff.
In this episode, Jess and Jeannine get honest about what gratitude actually looks like for ADHD women not the Pinterest version, not the toxic-positivity version, and definitely not the guilt-tripped version.
From Jess’s real-life run-in with an aggressively cheerful quote at her oncologist’s office, to Jeannine’s abandoned gratitude journal, to the science behind dopamine, serotonin, rumination, micro-gratitude moments, and why joy feels so huge (and so rare) when it finally breaks through this is gratitude told through the lens of real neurodivergent life.
Inside this episode:
Why gratitude for ADHD brains is awareness, not performance
The difference between gratitude and toxic positivity
How comparison, ableism, and internalized shame sneak into “thankfulness”
What the science says about gratitude, dopamine, serotonin, and ADHD emotional regulation
Joy as a form of gratitude (hello, “wee moments”)
Why perfectionism, RSD, and negative self-talk shut gratitude down
How neuroplasticity supports changing emotional patterns at any age
Micro-gratitude vs. forced routines and why tiny wins actually work
Why ADHD women feel undeserving of good things (and how to shift that)
The emotional power of handwritten letters and intentional connection
Jess and Jeannine keep it real, keep it funny, and keep it grounded in lived ADHD experience. No pressure, no journals required, no guilt if you haven’t felt thankful today. Gratitude isn’t a task it’s a moment. And you deserve to let the good stuff count.
If this episode hit home, share it with someone who gets it.We’re building a space where neurodivergent women can feel seen, validated, and a little less alone.
00:00 – When Gratitude Season Meets ADHD Reality
Holiday pressure, “just be grateful,” and why it doesn’t land for ADHD brains.
01:27 – Toxic Positivity in a Serious Space
Jess’s oncologist-office moment & why forced positivity feels invalidating.
02:21 – Ableism, Comparison, and Misunderstood Gratitude
What gratitude is not — and how comparison hijacks it.
04:33 – The Science: Dopamine, Serotonin & the ‘Wee Moment’
ADHD joy, emotional intensity, and why gratitude hits differently.
07:09 – Perfectionism, Shame Cycles & Feeling Undeserving
How negative self-talk blocks gratitude and keeps ADHD women small.
10:16 – Neuroplasticity & Rewiring Gratitude Patterns
ADHD brains can change — even later in life.
12:06 – Gratitude Letters, RSD & Communicating Love
Why writing feels safer, deeper, and emotionally clearer for ADHD folks.
14:22 – The Shirt Spiral: Perfectionism on Full Display
A relatable, classic Jess story about overwhelm, appearance, and RSD.
17:06 – Gratitude in Chaos: ADHD, Rumination & Emotional Overload
Why pausing is hard, and how ADHD blocks access to positive moments.
26:29 – Micro-Gratitude: Tiny Wins That Actually Work
Realistic, ADHD-friendly gratitude without guilt, pressure, or perfection.
29:12 – A Moment of Gratitude Between Jess & Jeannine

Many ADHD women move through Thanksgiving with a mix of joy, pressure, sensory overload, and invisible labor that most people never see. This episode offers a grounded, honest look at how the holiday actually feels for neurodivergent women without shame, without judgment, and without telling you how you’re “supposed” to handle it.
Jess and Jeannine explore the very real contrast between the parts of the holiday that feel comforting and the parts that drain us. From early-Christmas dopamine and all-day cooking marathons to childhood split-holidays and overstimulation before noon, they walk through the full spectrum of ADHD holiday experiences with warmth, humor, and compassion.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
The playful chaos of getting into holiday mode early
Why cooking energizes some ADHD women and overwhelms others
How invisible labor shapes the emotional weight of Thanksgiving
Delegating tasks in a way that feels supportive rather than stressful
Building a “Minimum Viable Thanksgiving” that actually fits your nervous system
Setting boundaries that keep the day peaceful, not perfect
Why small or unconventional Thanksgivings count just as much as the traditional ones
How to stay present enough to be part of the memories—not just the labor behind them
This episode is for anyone who wants permission to make Thanksgiving simpler, calmer, and more reflective of how their brain actually works. You’re not alone in the way you experience this season, and you deserve a holiday that gives back more than it takes.
00:00 – Cold Open: Mariah in November & ADHD Holiday Vibes00:39 – Invisible Labor & Why Thanksgiving Feels Like a Logistics Operation01:08 – Show Intro: Two ADHD Women, One Holiday Season02:31 – Split-Screen Thanksgiving: Cooking Dopamine vs. Holiday Whiplash05:23 – Delegating, Letting People Help, and Letting Go of Perfect07:47 – Minimum Viable Thanksgiving: Presence, Not Perfection11:55 – Boundaries Without Being a Holiday Grinch14:15 – Alternative Thanksgivings Count Too16:00 – Closing: Peace, Pie & Permission to Rest

Ever gone from fine to furious in half a second?That flash of rage it's chemistry before it become emotion. In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explain how cortisol, the stress hormone, acts like fuel for the fire when ADHD brains are already running hot.
They dive into:
Why cortisol floods ADHD systems faster and sticks around longer
The addictive hit of control you feel mid-rage
What happens during the crash and why shame keeps you stuck
How to interrupt the cortisol loop and step back into calm
This isn’t about managing anger it’s about understanding what your body is actually doing when it thinks it’s in danger.
No shame. No “shoulds.” Just truth, clarity, and compassion.
🎧 Angry on the Inside is where two late diagnosed ADHD women, Jess and Jeannine, talk honestly about the intersection of brain chemistry, identity, and burnout. It’s real talk for women who’ve been told they’re too much, when really they were just running on empty.
00:00 – Fine to Furious in Seconds The ADHD Rage ExperienceCold open that hooks listeners instantly with a relatable ADHD rage moment.
00:21 – Welcome to Angry on the Inside Real Talk for ADHD WomenShow intro and disclaimer; Jess and Jeannine set the tone for honest, grounded conversation.
00:57 – What ADHD Rage Really Is (and Why It Isn’t Just Anger)Defining ADHD rage as chemistry, not character breaking down the real mechanics behind emotional flooding.
02:23 – Cortisol Explained Your Body’s Stress Alarm SystemUnderstanding what cortisol does, how it spikes, and why ADHD brains stay on alert longer.
03:59 – Why Cortisol Feels Like Fuel for the FireHow cortisol creates that temporary sense of control and why it’s really feeding the flames.
04:40 – Chemistry First, Reaction Second Reframing ADHD RageAOI’s core reframe: emotional outbursts aren’t moral failures; they’re chemical chain reactions.
05:21 – When Triggers Stack Electronics, Traffic, and Tiny ExplosionsEveryday stories that reveal how sensory overload and stress stack until rage feels inevitable.
09:44 – The Crash and Shame Cycle After ADHD RageExploring the emotional hangover the exhaustion, guilt, and shame that follow a cortisol spike.
13:07 – Regulation and Recovery Finding Your Exit RampHow to pause, breathe, and come down gently after emotional flooding without judgment.
15:54 – You’re Not Broken Just Wired DifferentlyFinal reflections and grounding reminder that ADHD rage is human, not hopeless.

Jess & Jeannine explore the ADHD tipping point.  The moment everything you’ve been holding together finally slips, and what it really means to rebuild without shame, burnout, or masks.
When ADHD women hit the tipping point, it’s not failure, it’s the truth finally catching up.
In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine unpack why coping systems collapse, what “going over the edge” really means, and how to steady yourself when the scaffolding falls away.
From masking fatigue and burnout to the relief and grief of diagnosis, this is the real conversation about ADHD overwhelm that most people don't get to hear.
You’ll hear how life transitions, new jobs, parenthood, perimenopause, or pandemic chaos push many ADHD women to their limit, and how to recognize when that moment is coming again.
✨ What You’ll Hear:
Why ADHD women hit tipping points (and how to see them sooner)
How “structure” and “control” are often different things
The link between burnout, hormones, and executive dysfunction
Relief, grief, and what comes after diagnosis
Why your next tipping point is a checkpoint, not a collapse
Ways to communicate, prepare, and rebuild community support
00:00 – All the Plates Drop00:30 – When Everything Finally Slips01:08 – Parenthood, Promotion & Pandemic Chaos02:26 – Masking, Overdoing, and the Slow Burn to Shutdown05:54 – Structure Isn’t Control- It’s Capacity10:40 – Scaffolding, Survival & Losing Your Map14:01 – Relief & Grief: The Emotional Aftershock of Diagnosis17:17 – The Cycles Keep Coming and That’s Okay19:26 – Checkpoint, Not Failure22:00 – Prepare, Communicate & Rebuild22:59 – Outro | You’re Not Broken